Hey, haven't posted in a while because I don't feel I'm really that important for everyone to know about what goes on in my everyday life. Just doing this for myself to get my ass back in gear.

But let's get something off my chest first.

OH MY GODS Gackt is fucking wooooooaaah amazzing! His new single is to fucking die for! I watched it like 5 times in a row. O_O Now I really really want a job.

Speaking of jobs, I need a job. Yes I have saved up enough money for christmas shopping, but it makes me feel uncomfortable to pick through my savings. >_< I'm not a big spending when it comes to non Gackt items lol, even that I don't have as much as some people *cough aeryn_aerie cough* Lmao. Jk.

Speaking of chirstmas shopping I neeeeed neeed to finish it. So far I've only done 3 out of my 7. O_o
Wait count that 8. :P You know who you are! Mailing time. :O Oh wait..9 secret santa in one of my classes. >_<

I really really reaallllly gotta get a job. Nowz! I applied at Zellers, which is a chain store from HBC here in Canada, does the US have them? Dunno. So that was yesterday. I'm gonna call them tommorow. Which I find totally corny and I don't usually do it. But I'm getting desperate here.

Need- Gackt- Fix...oh and clothes. O_O Man all my clothes are getting bleh. Also I'm the time of person who ends up not liking my close anymore after a while even if they still fit me, or still look good. I wish I could grab a job at a nice clothing store, but they never hire me.
Am I that bad at interviews? Yes yes I am.
Got any tips? I know I have to ask a lot of question, but I never end up asking them. My mind goes boom.

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2 Fan vids one new and one old.

Tell me how you like them. <3



I swear that one ^ looks like an "In memory of..." type video. >_< Gackt you noo die now!! >o< lol

Hope you like.

Hehe I googling something for fun a few minutes ago and oh baby I love you too Gackt.
He pops up in the most unexpected places. Lol. <3



I was looking for different coloured eyes, because it's so neat. :3

It's very much not my type of music....but I like it. A lot O___O

 O_O oh gawd!

 

Gackt and me make one sexeh ladeeh.

   I'd tap that.

I swear I see Gackt everywhere.  This time I was looking for interesting manga art, and I found mr. Gackt, Malice Mizer era.
Puuuleeeease tell me I'm not going insane.

   The person on the bottom left...Malice Miiiizeeeer Gakuto!
The manga is called Alichino
If you want to see it large:http://gallery.aethereality.net/download.php?id=2230

Ok just one more.
 <dude that looks like Gackt  vs Gackt>

Okay hair is a little different...but cooome oooooon!

This is like what the 4th? 3rd look alike. I think I'm going insane.

My friends and I went to the Asian festival in our China town yesterday. We had lots of fun, walking around and looking at the shops, there was a parade and a very very dissapointing Japanese garden. Lmao, it said in the flyer there was to be a japanese garden, so I was obviously excited. So we walk down to it..and well lets just say there was none. >_< It was just some stalls selling some Japanese homemade goods like little home made sushi magnets...that cost 4 dollars! O_O Seriously, no matter how cute it was...4 dollars??!!!
But aanyways, we went to a independant cafe called Raw Sugar, it was awesome. I wish I though of taking pictures. It was housey and had all kinds of different mitch-match furniture, art all over the wall and home made goodies. It looked like a place were artists hand out and there was some. I felt a little out of place but that vegan brownie and expresso was to die for *__*. I'm going back.

The parade was really cool, haha for the first parade I've ever seen (yeah I'm sheltered) it was great.

( Picspam. )

This time it's a woman. Okay so far down to three. 2 anime characters and now a woman singer.

She isn't much known, one hit wonder from the 90's.

This is how Gackt would look like if he was a white woman. o_o

I am not going to the Miyavi concert in NYC, because since I don't have a job anymore I need to save my money for christmas and stuff. Plus I am going to miss school and I shouldn't do that, it's bad. School is more important, sorry  Miyavi. Also I am going to Vancouver on March break and I need to have money for that even more. Woo. Still getting my passport though, because the price is gonna jack up.

Also holy crap I might be going to a bar for the first time on saturday. :P Can't spend too much.
Also tommorow I am going to apply for unemployment checks, hopefully I can, I have enough hours aaand, it was for a very good reason. The only thing that sucks though is that my doctors appointment for tommorow was cancelled so I cannot give a doctors note.
Wish me luck I guess.

Off to do some homework.

I think I'm gonna get my passport very very soon in order to perhaps go to the Miyavi concert in New York, and before the price jacks up some more.

O_O wish me luck. I really want to go, he's my second favourite artists besides Gackt, even though I talk about Gackt 100000x more.

Now if I had to choose between a concert of Miyavi, or Gackt well <.< sorry meevers :P

Warning Yaoi and shitty britney spears song. The anime is called Rose maiden.

if it helps....pause at 58 ish and you'll see, I was like O_O

I saw a car that said MAGNUM on the windsheild this morning. It made me giggle to myself.

Yaaay I passed my driving written exam :D, yaaaay I quit my job, booo I had a panic attack. Boooo one of my teachers is retarded.

Today I had to leave school early to re-take my driving written exam and passed it. :3 So after supper my mom took me to a small parking lot with no cars in it and had me test the car out. -_- I officially hate suvs lol. The gas is so sensitive. o_o or my foot weighs a ton. XD She had me reverse, park, turn around in circles and holy crap I suck. It feels like I have no control over the car. But I have a scheduled appointment for a practical lesson tommorow evening, soo I hope my instructor is a better teacher than my mom. So yes I am well on my way to get a probationary license, I hope. -_- Must keep thinking positive. Even though I've become a very negative person recently, which comes up to my second part.
I've been seeing the doctor, for over a month now about my problems with anxiety that I had well ever since I could remember but I never really brought it up. But recently it's been spiraling down out of control. That's why I took a blood test to see if it was hormonal or something. I kind of hope so and kind of don't, because it if is I'm gonna have to take meds, which I do not want, but it'll mean it's something that happened that's totally out of my control. Seriously I feel like I'm slowly going insane,  I feel like I go crazy or nervous for the most stupidest, smallest things and it's making me feel weak.
I've always had these moments of high anxiety, like getting heart palpitations, fidgeting, sweating, tunnel vision, feelings of wanting to through up, which is normal and everyone has them once in a while. But for me it's all the time when I feel nervous, and I feel stressed a lot for the smallest things. ALL THE FUCKING TIME. My low level of self esteem, as well as having suicidal thoughts more than normal is having me questioning my sanity. I don't feel normal.

Anyways, so I started school again this year, but my bitch of a boss has been giving me too much hours, well not only me, but everyone because we have a lack of employees. But not according to her. So the fact that I had school, plus working around 23 to 27 hours a week, as well as never being able to see my friends in over a month, barely even seeing my own parents got me really depressed on friday. I had to do a split shift the next day. -_- So after sulking around for a little I went to bed and started crying, a lot. Then I started having anxiety, my thoughts become negative to the point that I can't control them. I whole bunch of stupid scenarios run across my head and this time to the point that I started fucking hyperventilating. >_< it never happened to be before and it's the most fucked up thing that happened to me. All I kept of doing was gasping and holding my chest and gasping and crying. Then I got up and tried to call my moms name, I had a hard time. So she came up to help me control myself, at that point I was shaking,sweating and my whole body was tensing up. Through all this my mind was blank, it felt surreal. It felt like wasn't human. So my mom helped me calmed down by talking to me and getting to my senses. Thank god she knew what do to because apparently this runs in the family.

So after calming down and talking for a while I decided that I had to leave my job. I had zero social life, and no time to see anyone I care about. Which seems weak to me, because some people have it worst. But I don't know why I can't cope with that. -_-

Anyways I'm to tired to continue this stupid rant. I feel so pathetic sometimes.

>_< does anyone one know someone who can translate the instructions from my last post????
Not all the instructions just the pictures instructions and the things written on the container.



PLEAAAASSSEEEE!!!! >o<

School just started and I'm already busy. Not from school work, but from going to school, then walking home, small break and then going to work. My boss is insane! I only had one day off last week, and the same this week.

I'm so tired I have trouble typing, and I haven't read all my friends posts or commented yet. But I will! My feet are dead and so is my head. I dunno if I should bring my laptop to school when I get a locker nice and ready.
Oh did I not tell people what courses I'm taking? I'm taking Secretarial at QCC. It's really great so far.
So now I have more things to write about and have a little bit more of a life, but social life? Ha! I haven't seen my friends for a little while, not even been on msn too. I'm too tiiired!!! I hope I get used to this routine of waking up at 6 am.

On the brighter side, my one day off from work today I went shopping. I'm in need of a little more professional type clothing. I bought myself some nice dress pants and a top. Really cute flats. I take a picture soon, if I remember XD.
And for the cold mornings, an awesome Beatles hoodie.

I need to practice my proof reading for secretarial. <_< I guess I need to watch how I spell. Haha.